Dear Spambots,

We’ve known each other for quite some time now, so I feel comfortable asking you a rather personal favour.  Please, please, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, LEAVE ME ALONE!  I don’t give a damn about car insurance; if I’m depressed, I can find my own solution; and while I certainly appreciate your interest in my artistic development, just shouting “ART SCHOOL! ART SCHOOL! COLLEGE DEGREE!” doesn’t exactly qualify as friendly advice.  No, emoticons don’t help the situation.

Now, that might sound a little harsh, and I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.  If it’s any consolation, I’m incredibly proud of you for dropping the gambling discussion, and I almost shed a tear of joy when you started babbling about the sunset of Rome’s regal period.  These are good things!

I’m not asking much.  Please, just be a little more considerate when clogging my inbox with mind-numbing gibberish.




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